a complete guide to bdsm

All about BDSM - What it is and how it is practiced. Complete Guide

You may have heard of BDSM, but what does this term mean? Probably many of us have heard of BDSM in the movie Fifty Shades of Gray, which has helped a lot to spread this practice. Given that this sexual phenomenon is becoming more and more known in the United Kingdom and the community is growing day by day, I think it is important for each of us to know what BDSM is and how it is practiced.

If words like slavery, domination, sadism, masochism are new to you, I understand you perfectly. For many of us, especially for those of us who have heard of this phenomenon only in movies, it may sound very intimidating at first and often we can’t understand the connection between sex and sadism.
However, it is good to know that you can combine sex, strength, and even pain in a way that pleases you like never before.

What is BDSM?

The term BDSM comes from English and means Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism, Masochism. Basically, this phenomenon is a couple role-play that involves submission, domination, and often pain in order to satisfy sexual partners. It is important to remember that it is practiced only if both partners agree.

Therefore, BDSM does not refer to sex itself, but rather to certain practices implemented before, after or even during sex. For example, if you like to tie your partner to bed during sex and put a mask on his eyes, you can say that you are a BDSM lover.

Of course, the phenomenon can be much more complex than that and often can completely exclude the actual sex, the partners being satisfied only by implementing these practices.

How to start practicing BDSM - The basic rules

For people who have never practiced BDSM, it can be a real challenge to understand how to apply these activities. When you start exploring this new world, remember that you don't have to hurry - take small steps!

Here are some basic rules for those who want to enter the world of BDSM:

1. Don't try extreme toys from the beginning

For starters, it is enough to wear a mask and let your partner tickle you with a feather. Also, a fluffy whip can be very pleasant for the first "sessions" of BDSM.

If these activities excite you, you can move on to more serious things, such as handcuffs or hot drops of wax from a candle for sensual massage.

2. Have fun

It is possible that at first, you will find all these activities very embarrassing or cheesy. You may not feel in your element when you order your partner to kneel. It is very possible to make mistakes during these practices, especially in the beginning.

However, remember one thing: it is important to feel good and have fun. It is natural that at first everything seems very strange to you. You are not used to such practices and they may even seem out of place. For this reason, it is important to start easily, with soft activities and to progressively increase their intensity.

If these activities do not satisfy you, there is no point in continuing to practice them.

3. Decide your role

BDSM practices involve a dominator and a dominator. It is advisable to try both roles and see which one suits you best.

Give up prejudices during BDSM activities. There is nothing shameful if the man will be the one dominated: there are many couples in which the man prefers to be dominated by the woman and everything happens very naturally.

What does it mean to be the dominant?

During BDSM, the dominant person is the one who makes the rules. It can snap over the bottom, whip, and apply countless other activities of the dominated person. All these activities must be applied to the intensity established before the act begins.

The role of the dominant person is to impose power and control over the submissive person.

What does it mean to be submissive?

Dominated people are those who obey the rules imposed by the rulers. They will do whatever the dominant partner asks of them.

Before starting the game, tell your partner what limits you should not exceed. Make him or her understand that it is just a game, and after the act is over, their role as a slave is over.

The best sex toys for BDSM

BDSM toys have become extremely popular in recent years, especially after the release of Fifty Shades of Gray. Each has its role and is suitable for certain people, depending on your expectations. From handcuffs, whips, leashes, chains to suits, or latex masks, everyone has their role. It is advisable to start with lighter toys at first.

If you start directly with extreme toys, you may feel intimidated and completely give up such practices.

Is BDSM dangerous?

Many people are reluctant to practice such activities, considering that BDSM is a dangerous practice. It is important to know your partner well before trying such practices and to use only sex toys with a safety button, which you can open whenever you want, even when you are tied behind your back.
Also, the rules and limits must be mentioned before you start. Many couples have a "safety word" that they say when the limit has been exceeded. Thus, the partner knows that he must stop. This word does not have to be related to sex: it just has to be easy to remember.

Depending on each person's wishes and needs, BDSM practice may involve light activities such as tying the back or extremes, such as calluses, whips, masks, or latex suits. They are only intended to make the act more intense but are not at all dangerous if used properly.

If these instructions are followed, the practice of BDSM is extremely safe and does not involve any risk.

Advantages of BDSM practices

People who have heard of BDSM only in movies and have never practiced it associate this activity with sadism and pain. Although it is often true, BDSM can be very exciting even for people who are not passionate about these things.

BDSM can be a creative way to improve sexual activity in a couple. Whether you dominate or are dominated, this does not necessarily involve extreme activities.

In a healthy relationship, the partners seek to satisfy their needs but also to take care of those of the partner. In such an activity, there is a golden rule: never exceed the limit!

It is important to know that as long as the partner agrees, it is OK to cause him pain in such an act. However, it is a small step from BDSM to physical abuse. Always create some rules before practicing BDSM and do not exceed them unless you both agree.

It is extremely important that during a BDSM activity you both feel good and do not exceed the limits.

Domination and submission increase the couple's confidence

Many people believe that the practice of BDSM can create problems for the couple, but in fact, it can help build trust. When you let yourself be dominated, you become practically vulnerable to your partner. However, it is just a game and you should never feel vulnerable. You must always have a “safe word” in case you want to stop the game.

BDSM is about trusting your partner. People who always obey, leave themselves in the care of those who dominate them. This will make you have more confidence in your loved one. Moreover, it helps you to know yourself better because the dominant person will have a great responsibility.

Given that obedient people, often called slaves, are vulnerable, they are the ones who decide when the limit has been crossed.

When you notice that your partner stops if the limit has been exceeded (and it can happen, especially when you are in the middle of sex, extremely aroused), you will notice that he cares about your safety and you will gain more confidence in him.

BDSM practices often include such exciting situations that the limits may be exceeded. If this has happened, use a safety word to take a step back, avoiding any inconvenience.

Conclusion

BDSM is a practice for everyone that can help you strengthen your relationship with your loved one. This can help you get to know your kinky sides better, thus improving your sexual performance.

If the rules imposed from the beginning are followed and you do not start directly with extreme toys, these games can easily become a common practice in your sexual activities.

However, not everyone is passionate about BDSM games. If you have tried them and they have not captivated you, it means that they are not for you. However, it is worth a try, because it can help spice up your sex life, helping to rekindle the spark in long-term couples.

For such activities, communication is most important - Discuss certain rules before you start having sex and push the boundaries only if you both agree.

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A Complete Guide to BDSM